Two months I had been back from the UK. I could still remember the day I was totally solo on my path back to Malaysia.
I cried non-stop at Heathrow airport. Some people at the cafe noticed my non stopping two lines tears, they curiously peeked at me, but I didn't not really care.
Two month, and till now, Rhys has begun its business. My life still continued with a lots or race, racing with my time, racing with my energy and patience.

I wasn't sure whether it is a wise idea to have Rhys at this moment. Parents are getting old. Things are changing. Many chaos happened, even quicker than my pace. I got a bit mindless now.

Do you know how I miss you Cardiff ? I miss you all.
Miss you, my torch bearer. Now he has gone to fetch other. I am on my own with my torch, continue my journey.

Somehow, sometimes maybe we got a chance to meet, I hope my old wise owl would direct me some of the wisdom of life.

God bless you all, all my friends in the UK.
I miss you all. xoxox

I thought saying good-bye is easier. It was easier when I firstly thought, but it wasn't so easy for me. The emotional slowly immerse itself, when I realised, it was too late to get prevent.

Two years time just past like a blink of eyes. Now I understand why older people are not so easy with Goodbye, because they had been realised it is not very easy to come back, to see you back. Like life, we continue our path regardless how, but we never know when is the date we would meet back.

I just said a good bye to my old good owl. He is my good teacher, and inspiring person. He said, if his job could be condemn, he would be a good teacher. To some extend, yes. I felt that I could run the path with my own, often without his torching.

I felt like to condemn his job, so i could save some money for myself. On the other hand, I had learnt a way to take care of myself, even without him.
He is like torch bearer for me. Now I could carry the torch by my own.
I am in a dilemma, because I am not sure I should see him again or not. I would like not, but probably not in the near future.

Good bye my old owl. Hopefully we will see somewhere on this world. By the time, I would be happy and care free as i would be.
Good bye, and please don't feel too sad, because I am sure we can meet again..

Seeing all my friends getting on their own path, is one of the exciting thing to know. I can still recalled the memory we stayed together in the college and schools. After years passed, each of our has choosing up own own paths, no matter what is that.

I can still remembered the first day i stepped in University Malaya, i told every lecturers in my dream that i wish to be a performer, standing on the stage. It was very truth of my word, however, not really make everyone happy. Through the hard work and hard works I had spent on, I have somewhere about there. I never dreamt in my life that would enter a Royal college, and yet I am in. Moreover, my final exam is coming.

There are tears and tears which shield over me. Lots of tears that I never dare to count how many times I had been dropped. But I forgot about it once, and my way continued. There was once, I wanted to settle down myself as a comfortable wife, yet there's no one who comes along my way. Watching the growth of my bank, I decided to fly again with my dream- this time, i would realised my long dream of learning my music in Europe continent.

Of course, it is not an easy path to go, struggled financially, and culture differences, levels which I had long left behind after a few years of work. Work has brought me the wealth, but also scarified my arts. But my wings will still not wide spread without money.

I came here, and yes, lost of tears dropped. I am grateful, it made who I am today.
I am not success, but i have chosen a path which is true to myself.

Wide spread my wings, I SOAR!!

I really don't like the idea of being follwed, or being a follower. I always treat myslef as a unque person. I like and absolutely enjoy my own time, doing on what I like at the moment, and strongly believe I am the only one who is special and only one who did this, and make this unque incident in the history. I don't like being follow, I don't like have people to do the same thing as me. Not i don't like to share, it is just a feeling of having crowded is not usual me.

I don't like being followed. I don't like being pushed to by the wave of the fashion. I don't like my parents push me to do anything. Sadly they are typical parents, they like to pushed their children to do the things they want, like: getting married, study hard blah blah blah...

I hate being pushed. I like to do whatever I like at the moment. Enjoying my food enjoying my sun...my lovely day.
People used to think I am wierd. Yes, in a way i do. But i can't help and don't bother to care. I like to being myslef.
Getting married with another couple definately is not my cup of tea.

I am wierd and wild.

30th Birthday

29th of April. It was my 30th birthday. My friends said, it was a great, huge, improtnat birthday in my life.
I agree. 30th is no more 20's when you think of your life ahead, it is different.
But apart from all the conflicts and dilemmas, what I know.. I had got a good celebration with all my friends.
I was looking up at the greyish sky while the tears were just flowed out during my root canal treatments.
All I learnt so far, the body and the time shall passed. And what could I leave to this world. Not my money, not my child or inheritance. It is my spirit who will remain.

Leave something good to this world, and it will be remembered.

My 30th birthday is a lesson to me. What can I do?For i was borned naked in this world. I couldn't bring anything back in heaven...

Yesterday was a great day for me.
the performance wasn't praticulary good, due to the piano. But i really enjoyed my time spent with my friends in london.

We really enjoyed, one target that works among us, led by Adria, that was money raising. All of us had been putting our best shoot to earn the appluases and money that been donated by the people.

I enjoyed my 3 days spent in London, though, i got very tired indeed by now( I should have rest at home now, not writing the blog to you all) .
I enjoyed the fellowship with brothers and sisters. See their way of treating each other, i got a new glimpse of how a couple should be.

I enjoyed the music making moments with my friends, from habanera to o mio babino Caro, to standing aside page turning for Andrew, the baritone. I enjoyed the Policeman by Suvillan, which the songs and the sounds i can still recall by now. I enjoyed the atmosphere interacting with the audience.

Soon after the concert, it was followed by a big sumptious huge meal prepared by the priest at the town. Over endulged by the priest cooking skill and his morrocan Chicken with beans. And of course the uncounted glasses of wine, ports.

We had been chatting till early morning of 12 am. Each of us enjoyed the time that spend together. A priest, a pastor and a theology student sat around the table, discussig different view of Christian theology, how rare could it be. But i am also impressed by the openess of each of them have got, that brought to a peace and happy evening.

Btw, Claire had a good best puked because of the too heavy cheese and wines.

And we received 2 bouquets of nice purple yellowish tulips..... Upload the photo later to you all!!

:) Great performace! great day!!

Cheers! xxxx

here is the flowers from the concert! I left another one in London, cos they are too fragile to be brought back. Happy to see them blooming at my home!! :)
I love you all! I love London!

It was a great performance to me.

Though, to be frankly speaking the piano wasn't great enough, but we did great the best shot on yesterday's performance to earn the applause and money from the audiences.

I was very enjoyed the performance yesterday with my fellow friends, Andrew, Anne Marie, Adria and David. From Habanera to O mio babino Caro, even to the page turning job standing beside Claire, for the policeman by Suvillian.

The atmosphere was great, i could sense the audiences enjoyed the performance very much, and they were all very indulged themselves with the music.

I like the Irish Boudran played by Nick, the folk tune sang by Adria and David, Andrew. Can you imagine, the concert lasted 2 hours!

And I could still recalled some part of it. :)

Followed by the concert, we were invited by the priest for a evening dinner. i was pretty much enjoyed myself and over spoilt by the priest's cooking skill and his Moroccan chicken, cheese and wine.
Because of lent, there's was not sweet dessert for us, but we did enjoy some fine cheese. :)

Priest was too generous to us. After the meal, all of us sat by the round table, have a small little chatty after the wines. a priest, a pastor and a theology student were sitting together to share their view of Christianity. I was so touched by their open minded, regardless to the different religion background, sitting harmoniously enjoyed the discussion together.

In this trip, I also got a chance to see how a couple treating each other respectfully, they gave me a new glimpse of light, on how the couples could love and respect each other, allowing each other to have his/ her own space and interests, support and pray for each other.

Thank God for all this wonder trip. I know I am blessed. :)

P/s Claire had a great puked after the dinner, due to the very heavy cheese and wine. While David still found this matter like a mysterious UFO visitation, he gave a few reasons why only she got puked, while all of us remains clam. Actually i have no idea too. But who cares? It was a great night!

Cheers
XXXX